Paul Darrow graciously handed out menus to the thirty people who were sitting in groups around the room.  Each menu had been signed by Paul as Executive Chef/Menu Consultant and listed such rare delicacies as Pasta a la Darrow and Tilly’s Trifle.  A little later at dinner, Paul, with a wicked smile in the Catering Manager’s direction, visited each table in the restaurant, offering diners Daddies Sauce to complement the chef’s creations…

A strange dream?  No, it really happened.  Although maybe the ‘Evening with Paul Darrow’ arranged by Avon – The Paul Darrow Society and 10th Planet, which was held on Saturday, 7th June at the National Badminton Centre, Milton Keynes, was a dream come true for some Paul Darrow fans.           

The event began around 5.30pm in one of the Centre’s reception rooms.  There was a relaxed atmosphere, as attendees gathered for tea/coffee and conversation with Paul and each other.     A couple of hours slipped effortlessly by, before everyone was guided into the restaurant for a hot buffet-style dinner.  Despite Paul’s beguiling offer, Daddies Sauce wasn’t required to enhance the meal.  The Catering Manager found he and Paul had a common link.  But could his time as Assistant Catering Manager at Haberdashers’ Askes school have possibly prepared him for meeting this particular ‘Old Askean’?

After dinner, everyone settled onto the comfortable sofas in the bar area.  As this was an informal evening, Paul introduced everyone by reading out the names of those present.  Having done so, he enquired whether everyone was comfortable, before commencing his talk.  Not a ‘cabaret turn’ or a ‘one man show’, but a masterly and utterly riveting tour through the highways and byways of his life.   

‘All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players. 
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts. 
His acts being seven ages…’ –
Paul began by quoting this speech from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act II:vii, afterwards needlessly assuring the audience he hadn’t reached the latter stages...yet. 

Leaving aside infancy, he talked of schooldays, and the dilemma of what career he should follow...   
As a member of the Combined Cadet Force at school, he had taken part in a night exercise to take a heavily defended hill.  Paul and two fellow cadets were dropped in the middle of nowhere, and expected to make their way across country to the hill, attacking from the front, as part of an assault that was expected to take some hours.   Paul saw from his map that there was a road that led to the hill.  He decided it would be easier to use the road, and easier still to thumb a lift from a conveniently passing lorry.  In true ‘Dad’s Army’ style, the three intrepid cadets arrived earlier than expected and, coming from behind, were able to disarm the guards and, against all odds, capture the hill, only to be disqualified for not going by the book. 

Perhaps based on his ingenuity, the school careers advisory body recommended Paul should join the armed forces.  But he had other ideas.  Some – such as growing sugar cane in Cuba – were fuelled by his love of films.  So perhaps it wasn’t surprising that he finally settled on the idea of becoming an actor, so that he could play many parts – a doctor one day, a barrister the next.  His father, a Chemist, was less than happy, but agreed Paul should apply to the Royal Academy for Dramatic Art.  His first application was rejected on the grounds of his youth and immaturity.  But second time around he was accepted, subsequently being told by the Principal that, although every other teacher thought he would never make an actor, he had confidence in him and thought he would.  The Principal was the man who counted.   Paul had his vote and that was enough. 

Why would anyone want to be an actor?  ‘Power,’ said Paul, the power to enthral an audience.  He mentioned his role as Elvis, demonstrating his moves and the first bars of the opening song, which had engendered a tremendous response from all the audiences to whom he had played.  Needless to say, the audience at Milton Keynes was rather appreciative as well! 

Some roles were remembered with amusement – particularly Paul’s meteoric rise from ear, nose and throat surgeon to Chinese-speaking heart surgeon in Emergency Ward 10 and his unforgettable appearance in Dr. Who’s Timelash.  An admonishing note was sent to the cast from the director to the effect that someone wasn’t taking the episode seriously.   Paul admitted he had found it difficult to keep a straight face, since he’d noticed the actor playing the part of the snake sitting in a corner practising hissing.  The touring production of Macbeth had not been without its problems either.   An abrupt departure by one actress, left the production with just two witches.  Another actress was drafted in at very short notice but, without rehearsal, had gone on stage not knowing where to stand.  She frightened the life out of the rest of the cast when she appeared in all the wrong places.  And Paul must have been pretty awesome in his final sword fight, as his opponent was terrified of him and, on occasion, Paul had to cover up the fact he’d actually won.             

You could have heard a pin drop as Paul changed pace to dramatically recite part of the rousing Saint Crispin’s Day battle speech from William Shakespeare’s Henry V, Act IV,iii.
Afterwards, Paul mentioned how the French feared the accurate English long bows and, if an English archer had the misfortune to be captured, the first two fingers of his right hand, which were essential for shooting the bow, would be severed.  The successful English archers would taunt the French in a familiar way, which was the origin of the two-fingered sign.  

Whether amusing, serious, unashamedly name-dropping, or bantering with the audience, Paul kept the audience spellbound for two hours.  He finished with the lines

‘You’ve been a good audience, very good, a very good audience.  Let me know where you’re working tomorrow night, and I’ll come and see you.’

Despite having a long drive the following day, Paul stayed afterwards chatting, signing autographs and having photos taken.   ‘An Evening with Paul Darrow’ came to a close around midnight.  But it’s not the end.  For thirty lucky people, there’s yet another opportunity to ‘live the dream’ on 19th July…


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